That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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