I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
