Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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