that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
