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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (863): View more from Florida

  my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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• (916): View more from California

  ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.

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