just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.