apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I forget how to act sober
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