no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
