Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
