I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
