David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
