Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
