god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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