He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.