I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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