Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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