words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
