She's JV to your varsity
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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