So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
