Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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