I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize