Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have aggressive nipples.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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