I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
