he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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