she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
