Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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