If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
