its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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