i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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