we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
