is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
