Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
