Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
