I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
