you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
