"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
