I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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