I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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