No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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