i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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