I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
