Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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