I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
