so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
