I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
