her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
