I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
