I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if only i could text you this smell
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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