I am puke
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just invented taco cereal.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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