I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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