You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
