dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
