He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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