You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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