Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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