Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
