you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
