I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he thought i was a dude.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize