when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
