It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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