gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
